Friday, July 3, 2015

inside out

Yesterday the kids and I took a break from laundry and cleaning and went to see Inside Out. 

I was actually completely dreading seeing this just looked so weird. Funny thing is I actually loved it. Like really really loved it :)

And Sissy was SO good which made the whole experience perfect.

The movie made me laugh, cry and feel a whole bunch of other things. Watching it came at the perfect time for me. Every evening when I put Milly to sleep I have to lay with her until she falls asleep. It's been like this since we've moved into the house. Lately as I lay there I've been thinking back to when the boys were little. How our summers were, what we did daily, how their little voices sounded...just trying to grasp onto every little moment. I really miss them little. It almost hurts inside how much I miss it. I am so happy we waited so long to have Milly because I feel like I got to enjoy them as toddlers and littles. It was just the three of us during the day and they were so great and we went everywhere together. I truly adore those memories. 

Things are different now. They are older, life is busier and at the end of the day I feel like their little lives are flashing by. I lay in bed at night and think "did I hug them enough today?" "I hope they enjoyed our time together,"...crazy things like that. Oh how I just wish time would slow down a little. In the movie the little girl starts losing some of her toddler memories. While I know this is normal it just really hit me that these moments that I treasured so much I could lose and most likely they don't remember anyway. I decided instead of stressing on the time that is passing to start really making everyday count. Both boys are at the age that they will remember the things we are doing, I mean I can remember back to first grade. I can never have those years back so I'm going to stop looking back with sadness and chose to look back with happiness and look forward with excitement. While I do miss those days terribly I absolutely love the moment we are in and the ages all my kids at at right now. I want us together to look back at these moments and think Man that was a pretty great life :)